# Weddings and cash gifts (ご祝儀) in Japan for foreigners

URL: https://japanhow.com/life/family/wedding-cash-gifts-japan-foreigners/
Author: JapanHow editors
Updated: Oct 29, 2026

## Summary

As of October 2026, a friend or colleague at a Japanese wedding usually gives ¥30,000 in cash (ご祝儀), a boss about ¥44,000 and a relative about ¥77,000, based on a 2024 Tokyo-area survey of couples. Use new bills, avoid even amounts and the numbers 4 and 9 (8 is an accepted exception), and put the money in an envelope with a knotted cord. At a fee-based wedding (会費制) you usually pay a set fee instead, often under ¥10,000.

## Key facts

- Friend or colleague: ¥30,000
- Boss: About ¥44,000
- Couple together: ¥50,000 or ¥70,000
- Bills: New notes, in a 結びきり envelope

**As a foreigner at a wedding in Japan you give cash, and the norm for a friend or colleague is ¥30,000.** As of October 2026, a 2024 survey of couples in the Tokyo area found guests gave an average of ¥30,000 as friends or colleagues, ¥44,000 as bosses and ¥77,000 as relatives. The gift (ご祝儀, goshugi) goes in a special envelope, in new bills, in an amount that avoids certain numbers.

Getting legally married in Japan is a separate process. See [international marriage in Japan](/life/family/international-marriage-japan/). This page is about being a guest, or about what your Japanese guests will expect to give.

**Friend or colleague:** ¥30,000 (Tokyo-area average in the Zexy 2024 survey of couples)

## How much to give

Amounts below are averages that couples in the Tokyo area reported receiving in the Zexy 2024 survey. They are guides, not rules.

| Your relationship to the couple | Typical gift |
|---|---|
| Friend or colleague | ¥30,000 |
| Boss | ¥44,000 |
| Relative | ¥77,000 |
| Teacher | ¥41,000 |

MUFG Bank's guide adds that if you are senior to the couple, ¥30,000 or more is usual.

### Does inflation change the ¥30,000?

A financial-planning site (September 2025) says ¥30,000 from a friend is still the norm. It cites Zexy 2024 figures of about ¥27,000 per guest in food, drinks and favors (引出物), so the gift may only cover costs. If you want to give more, it suggests ¥50,000, or adding a small present, a message card or a dinner with the couple, and avoiding ¥40,000.

## Numbers and bills

- **Avoid even numbers.** They suggest a split. Avoid 4 and 9 too (4 sounds like the word for death).
- **Eight is an accepted exception** to the even-number rule.
- **Use new bills (新札).** Get them at a bank branch with a new-note ATM, or exchange old notes at a counter. Banks may charge a fee, so get them ahead of time.
- **Couples and families.** If you are invited as a couple, give one gift together: ¥50,000 or ¥70,000, not ¥60,000.

## The envelope

1. **Buy a ご祝儀袋** at a stationery store. Choose one with a cord (水引) tied in a 結びきり or あわじ結び knot, in red-white or gold-silver. A 蝶結び bow knot can be retied, so it is wrong for a wedding.
2. **Put the bills in the inner envelope** with the portrait on the front side, at the top. You do not need to glue it.
3. **Write on the inner envelope** the amount in old-style kanji (¥30,000 is 金参萬円) and your address and name.
4. **Write your full name on the front**, below the cord and a bit smaller than the 寿 mark. A brush pen is standard. If you can't, a felt pen is acceptable.
5. **Carry it in a ふくさ** (a cloth wrapper) in a warm color such as red or orange, or in purple. Do not use blue or gray for a wedding.

Writing the amount and your name in Japanese can be hard if you read little Japanese. Ask a Japanese friend or colleague to check the envelope before the day.

## Fee-based weddings (会費制)

Some weddings charge a set fee instead of a gift. MUFG cites a Mynavi Wedding survey that found the most common fee under ¥10,000, followed by ¥10,000 to ¥15,000. You do not normally give gift money there, though a present is acceptable. In the Zexy 2024 Tokyo-area survey, about 92% of receptions were gift-based, so a fee-based wedding is the exception.

## If you can't attend

- **Already know you can't come.** About ¥10,000 is usual, a letter is optional. Send it so it arrives at least a week before the wedding.
- **Cancelled after saying yes.** Give the planned amount. The couple may still owe the venue, so send it by registered cash mail (現金書留) as soon as you can.

## What else attending costs

Gifts are not the only cost. MUFG lists the afterparty fee, transport and hotel if far away, clothes, bags and shoes, and hair and makeup. Together, one wedding can cost about ¥100,000, so budget ahead if you have several invitations in a season.

**If you're the couple:** Your Japanese guests will usually bring cash. Zexy's 2024 survey found about 92% of Tokyo-area receptions were gift-based. Expect to give favors (引出物) in return. The same financial site puts food, drinks and favors at about ¥27,000 per guest.

## Quick checklist for foreign guests

- Decide the amount from your relationship above.
- Get new bills ahead of time.
- Buy a ご祝儀袋 with a 結びきり knot.
- Ask a Japanese friend to check the writing.
- Put the envelope in a ふくさ.

If your family back home gives gifts differently, follow the Japanese custom for this event. If you need advice on the legal side of a marriage, ask your city office or a 行政書士.

Related: [why Japan still uses cash](/life/admin/why-japan-still-uses-fax-hanko-cash/) and [cashless payments](/money/cards/cashless-payments-japan-paypay-suica/).

## Questions people ask

### How much is a wedding gift in Japan?

¥30,000 for a friend or colleague is the norm. A 2024 Tokyo-area survey of couples found averages of ¥44,000 from bosses, ¥77,000 from relatives and ¥41,000 from teachers. If you are senior to the couple, give ¥30,000 or more.

### Why avoid 4 and 9 in Japanese gifts?

Even numbers suggest a split, and 4 (which sounds like the word for death) and 9 are avoided. Eight is an accepted exception. That is why couples attending together give ¥50,000 or ¥70,000, not ¥60,000.

### What if I can't attend a Japanese wedding?

If you already know you can't attend, about ¥10,000 is usual (MUFG says this is the gift minus the meal and favor costs), delivered at least a week before the wedding. If you cancel after saying yes, give the planned amount and send it by registered cash mail (現金書留) as soon as you can.

### Do I need to give money at a fee-based wedding?

Usually not. At a 会費制 wedding you pay the set fee, which a survey cited by MUFG Bank found is most often under ¥10,000. Gift money is generally unnecessary, but a present is still acceptable.

### Which envelope do I use for a wedding gift?

A ご祝儀袋 with a cord (水引) tied in a 結びきり or あわじ結び knot, in red-white or gold-silver. Do not use a bow-style 蝶結び cord, which can be undone and retied. Put new bills inside, portrait facing up and at the top.

## Sources

- [結婚式のご祝儀の相場は？ご祝儀袋の書き方や欠席時の対応方法も紹介](https://www.bk.mufg.jp/column/events/wedding/b0016.html), MUFG Bank (三菱UFJ銀行) (accessed Oct 29, 2026)
- [ゼクシィ結婚トレンド調査2024 首都圏](https://souken.zexy.net/data/trend2024/XY_MT24_report_06shutoken.pdf), Recruit Zexy Bridal Research Institute (ゼクシィ総研) (accessed Oct 29, 2026)
- [物価高の今、友人の結婚式に「ご祝儀3万円」はNG？](https://financial-field.com/living/entry-404386), FINANCIAL FIELD (accessed Oct 29, 2026)